Encouraging Yourself in the Lord: Finding Fullness When Love Is Shared

There is a quiet temptation that creeps in when we don’t name it: the temptation to look to our spouse to meet needs that only God can satisfy. If I were looking to my husband to meet all my emotional, physical, and spiritual needs in this season, I would surely be disappointed — not because he doesn’t love me, but because this season is full.

Bill is pouring himself out for my daughter and our grandchildren. He is attentive, present, and serving faithfully. And while I am deeply grateful for the man he is, I am also learning something tender and important about my own heart.

Before we moved in together as a family, Bill brushed my hair every day. It was one of the simplest, most intimate ways he showed love and care for me. Now? I’m lucky if that happens once a week. Not because love has changed —but because life has.

This is a season where his hands are often full, his attention divided, and his energy spent caring for others. And if I’m not careful, it would be easy to let comparison or jealousy creep in — to quietly grieve the time and touch that looks different now.

That’s where this pillar becomes essential.

In this season, I am learning that if I don’t abide in the Almighty, I will begin to ache in ways my husband was never meant to fill. Encouraging yourself in the Lord is not a consolation prize when your spouse can’t meet every need. It is a holy realignment.

“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:4

Touch and comfort don’t only come through human hands. They come through the Word of God. Through His presence. Through the quiet intimacy of time spent with Him. When I allow Him to care for me — to minister to my heart, my weariness, my longing — I am freed from placing that weight on my husband.

When I open His Word slowly, meditatively, letting each phrase linger, I am reminded that I am seen. Held. Loved. Not neglected. Not overlooked. Not forgotten.

This pillar teaches me that God does not withdraw His affection when seasons shift. He remains constant — offering comfort that doesn’t diminish when shared.

In this season, Encouraging Yourself in the Lord is the principle I am standing on.

It’s where I receive the care I once expected in other ways. It’s where I find grounding instead of resentment. It’s where gratitude replaces comparison. When I am filled by Him, I can love Bill freely — without quiet disappointment, without unmet expectations, without jealousy of the time he gives elsewhere. This pillar guards my heart and protects our marriage.

Ask yourself:

• Am I asking my spouse to meet needs God alone was meant to fill?

• Have I noticed a shift in season that requires me to adjust my expectations?

• Where might God be inviting me to abide more deeply in Him right now?

• How can encouraging myself in the Lord free my marriage from unnecessary pressure?

Remember: Your spouse is a gift — not your source.

Seasons change. Roles shift. Love adapts. But God remains.

When we encourage ourselves in the Lord, we learn to receive care that never runs out — and to love our spouse with grace instead of demand.

Your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be pampered.

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Learn more at www.PamperYourMarriage.org