When God Becomes Your First Comfort

Encouraging Yourself in the Lord During a Fast

There are seasons when the Lord gently calls us to draw closer to Him in ways that stretch us. For me, this season has been a fast as I prepare for an upcoming women's retreat. Fasting has a way of revealing where we normally go for comfort. When food is removed, the heart becomes more aware of its deeper hunger. And in that hunger, God meets us.

But fasting doesn’t happen in isolation when you’re married. It becomes something your spouse quietly participates in too.

One thing I’ve been deeply grateful for during this fast is Bill’s support. He hasn’t tried to talk me out of it. He hasn’t complained that things feel different. Instead, he’s been gentle and encouraging as I pursue what the Lord is doing in my heart.

Marriage doesn’t always mean both people are in the exact same spiritual season at the same time. Sometimes one spouse is being drawn into deeper prayer, reflection, or fasting.

In those moments, a supportive partner becomes a tremendous blessing. Their understanding creates space for God to work.

In Pamper Your Marriage, one of the pillars we talk about is Encourage Yourself in the Lord.

That phrase comes from the story of David in 1 Samuel 30. When David faced overwhelming circumstances and there was no one left to strengthen him, Scripture says: “David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”

There are moments in marriage when our spouse cannot meet every need we feel. Not because they don’t love us. Not because they don’t care. But because some encouragement must come directly from the Lord. Fasting has reminded me of that truth again. When the body is hungry, the spirit learns to listen more carefully. And in those quiet moments with the Lord, I find the strength and comfort my heart needs.

Interestingly, encouraging yourself in the Lord does not weaken a marriage—it strengthens it. When we look to God first for comfort, peace, and strength, we remove pressure from our spouse to fill a role only God can fulfill. Instead of demanding emotional or spiritual fulfillment from each other, we bring a fuller heart back into the relationship. We love from overflow rather than from need.

As I prepare for this retreat, the fast has become part of my preparation. It is a reminder that ministry, marriage, and life all flow best when they begin with the Lord. Bill’s quiet support during this season has been another reminder of how love sometimes looks like simply standing beside someone while they pursue God. That kind of support is a gift.

If you’re married, consider these questions together:

• How do we support each other during spiritual seasons like prayer, fasting, or reflection?

• Do we give each other space to grow in the Lord?

• Where might we be expecting our spouse to provide something only God can give?

Encouraging yourself in the Lord doesn’t push your spouse away. It anchors your heart in the One who sustains both of you.

Your spouse can support you, pray with you, and walk beside you. But your deepest encouragement will always come from the Lord. And when your heart is strengthened by Him, your marriage benefits from the peace and stability that follow.

Remember: Your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be pampered—beginning with a heart that is anchored in God.

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