The Pillar of Encourage Yourself in the Lord: Strength for the Weary Heart

Marriage is a beautiful gift, but even the strongest covenant experiences seasons of exhaustion, misunderstanding, and emotional weariness. The Pillar of Encourage Yourself in the Lord reminds us that before we can pour into our spouse, we must allow the Lord to pour into us.

This pillar is deeply personal — it’s about tending to your own heart so you don’t place expectations on your spouse that belong only to God. It’s about remembering that your identity, your joy, and your strength don’t come from how your spouse treats you… but from how the Lord sustains you.

The Pillar of Encourage Yourself in the Lord

In Pamper Your Marriage: The Pillars of Principle, we talk about how many conflicts in marriage happen when someone is running on empty and looking to their spouse to fill the void. But your spouse, no matter how wonderful, can never take the place of the Holy Spirit.

This pillar teaches us to pause — to breathe — to reconnect with God in a way that restores our soul.

Sometimes encouraging yourself looks like:

• Putting on worship and letting the lyrics wash over you

• Journaling your prayers and emotions

• Speaking Scripture over your heart

• Taking a quiet walk to clear your mind

• Saying, “Lord, refill me… I need You”

  
  

When you let the Lord strengthen you, you begin interacting with your spouse from a place of peace rather than pressure.

God doesn’t just call us to encourage ourselves — He models it by the way He pampers His Bride.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit… will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have said to you.” —John 14:26

The Lord pampers His Church by sending His Spirit to comfort, reassure, strengthen, and speak truth in moments when our hearts want to give up. He whispers identity when we feel insecure. He breathes peace when anxiety rises. He restores hope when discouragement hits. And just as Jesus encourages His Bride, we must learn to encourage ourselves — not with empty positivity, but with Spirit-filled truth.

When we’re filled, we can love our spouse without needing them to fix, heal, or complete us.

Ask yourself:

• Have I been expecting my spouse to fill needs that only God can satisfy?

• What discouragement have I allowed to settle in my heart?

• When was the last time I took time to simply be still and let God minister to me?

Remember: A heart encouraged in the Lord becomes a source of encouragement to the one they love.

If this post blessed you, there’s so much more waiting inside Pamper Your Marriage: The Pillars of Principle as well as the 30-day workbook. They will help you build each pillar step-by-step with daily Scripture, prayer, action prompts, and heart reflection — including practical ways to strengthen yourself in the Lord so you can love your spouse from an overflow.

Now available in Paperback and Kindle! Order directly on Amazon: Pamper Your Marriage – Jodie & Bill Dye

Your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect — it just needs to be pampered.