The Pillar of Action: When Love Has to Be Scheduled

There’s a romantic idea we sometimes hold onto—that love should always be spontaneous. That if it’s real, it will just happen. But real life tells a different story. Busy schedules. Full houses. Shared responsibilities. Emotional exhaustion. In seasons like these, love doesn’t always show up unannounced. Sometimes… love has to be scheduled. And that doesn’t make it less meaningful. It makes it intentional.

This Valentine’s Day, Bill and I are getting away together. A hotel. A movie. A couples massage. Nothing extravagant. Nothing flashy. Just space. And here’s the truth—we didn’t stumble into this plan. We had to make it. Action in marriage doesn’t always look like grand gestures. Sometimes it looks like opening a calendar, choosing a date, and saying, “You matter enough to plan for.”

In Pamper Your Marriage, the Pillar of Action reminds us that love is not just something we feel—it’s something we do.

“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”

—1 John 3:18

In full seasons, action often requires intention. It requires effort. It requires follow-through.

Waiting for the “perfect time” usually means waiting too long. But choosing a time—even an imperfect one—keeps connection alive.

When you’re caring for family, sharing space, managing work, and carrying emotional weight, romance doesn’t always rise to the top on its own. That’s when action becomes an act of stewardship. Scheduling time together doesn’t mean love is lacking. It means love is protected.

And sometimes the most loving thing you can do is say:

• “Let’s put this on the calendar.”

• “Let’s plan something just for us.”

• “Let’s get away, even briefly.”

God doesn’t just speak love—He demonstrates it. He steps toward us. He initiates. He makes room. Even Jesus withdrew with His disciples to rest, to eat, to be together. Not because ministry wasn’t important—but because relationship was essential.

When we take action in our marriages, we mirror that same intentional love.

Ask yourselves:

• Have we been waiting for connection instead of planning for it?

• What small action could we take to prioritize our marriage right now?

• Are we willing to schedule love in this season instead of assuming it will happen naturally?

Remember: Action doesn’t cheapen romance. It sustains it.

Whether your plans are big or small, simple or spontaneous, what matters most is that you choose each other—on purpose.

So I’ll ask you…💘 What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

Maybe it’s a getaway. Maybe it’s dinner at home. Maybe it’s a walk, a conversation, or a moment carved out in the middle of a busy week. Whatever it looks like—let it be intentional.

Your marriage doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be pampered.

📖 Pamper Your Marriage is available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon🌐

Learn more at www.PamperYourMarriage.org