Painting the Pillars

Adding Color to Your Marriage

When Bill and I wrote Pamper Your Marriage, we didn't just want couples to learn the pillars, we wanted them to live them. But here's something I've discovered after nearly fifteen years of marriage:

Even healthy marriages need fresh paint from time to time.

Not because they're broken. Not because they're failing.

But because life has a way of making everything feel ordinary if we're not intentional.

Walls fade. Furniture gets worn. And relationships can become routine.

That's why one of the chapters in our book is called Painting the Pillars.

It's about adding color, beauty, and intentionality back into your marriage.

Right now, Bill and I spend much of our time helping care for our grandchildren and supporting our family. We have responsibilities, schedules, ministry, work, and all the normal demands of life. And while those things are important, they can slowly consume all of our energy if we're not careful. Before long, conversations become about calendars.

Date nights become postponed. And marriage can start feeling more functional than vibrant. That's when it's time to paint the pillars.

What Does Painting the Pillars Look Like?

Sometimes it's planning a date night.

Sometimes it's holding hands.

Sometimes it's leaving an encouraging note.

Sometimes it's laughing together.

Sometimes it's getting away for a Sabbath weekend.

And sometimes...

It's making love.

God designed physical intimacy as a gift within marriage.

Not simply as a physical act, but as a way of reconnecting emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. In a busy season, intimacy reminds us that we are more than roommates, coworkers, parents, grandparents, or ministry partners.

We are husband and wife.

One of the things I love most about the Lord is that He continually renews His relationship with His Bride. His mercies are new every morning. His love never grows stale. His affection never becomes routine. He continually pursues us, speaks to us, and reminds us that we belong to Him. In the same way, healthy marriages require continual renewal.

We don't just build a relationship once. We nurture it over and over again.

Add Some Color

Maybe your marriage doesn't need a major overhaul.

Maybe it just needs some fresh paint.

A little intentionality.

A little creativity.

A little romance.

A little fun.

A little affection.

A little time together.

Don't wait until your marriage feels empty before investing in it.

Paint the pillars now. Add some color now. Celebrate each other now. Because thriving marriages aren't built accidentally. They're built intentionally.

Bill and I are still learning this ourselves. We have to be intentional.

We have to protect our connection. We have to make time for one another.

And sometimes we simply need to step back, look at our marriage, and ask:

"Where can we add a little more color?"

Because your marriage doesn't have to be broken to need refreshing. Sometimes it just needs a fresh coat of paint.

Your marriage doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to be pampered.

📖 Pamper Your Marriage is available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon, and our website🌐Learn more at www.PamperYourMarriage.org